Perhaps you've always found being given orders to be such a turn-on. Maybe you're looking for ways to relieve stress, and you think submitting in the bedroom might do the trick. Either way, you might find satisfaction in becoming more submissive. And if your partner has asked you to submit to them, it's a win-win situation for both of you!
What A Submissive Does
To be more submissive. you need to surrender control. It may sound scary, but it's exactly what some people like about submitting in the bedroom. Someone else has the responsibility, which can be freeing if your daily life is laden with burdens.
Being submissive means knowing yourself. What do you want to try and what do you not want to try? It is knowing your wants and don't wants. Lots of people like spanking or bondage, but far fewer people are interested in scat play, for example. But even admitting to somewhat devious desires can be a big step for some. After all, society looks down on people who have "abnormal" sexual desires. Communication is important between partners at this point to establish a comfort zone and no go zone during play.
If it is your first time, and unsure of how your partner will take it, start by discussing in detail what to expect - being tied up, spanking, flogging, blindfolds, orgasm control, service or some other form of BDSM.
A submissive must remain true to themselves. Sometimes this means trusting themselves and their partners and pushing through initial resistance. At other times, it means saying "No" to something or someone they don't trust (this may involve using a safe word, which we'll touch on later).
Misconceptions About Submission
Being a submissive does not mean blindly following orders barked by anyone who claims to be a dominant. Your submission is a gift. Submission isn't about surrendering all of your power, either. Instead, it's about handing over your power to someone you trust not to abuse it. A dominant might decide what they do, and that can include temporary pain, but their decisions should always keep the sub's best interests in mind. Kinky activities should ultimately benefit you and your relationship.
During a BDSM scene, it might seem like the dominant has all the power and can do anything they like, but the sub has the power to stop everything in an instant with a safe word. This maximizes your comfort and minimizes the risk of any harm caused by your BDSM activities. Because some subs are hesitant to use their safe words, perhaps because they don't want to disappoint their partners, their partners can plan a scene where the goal is to use the safe word.
If you're interested in exploring your submissive side--or even if you think you might be more of a dominant--you can try a variety of new activities with a bondage kit or BDSM set, which bundle fun goodies together. Blindfolds, cuffs, and impact play items are frequently included in these sets. You just might discover a new fetish or realize that you're more submissive than you ever thought!
Submissive Role Plays
Some people find it simpler to enter a state of submission by taking on a role that is associated with submission while their partner assumes an authoritative position. To name a few:
- Teacher and student
- Boss and employee/secretary or house maid
- Coach and athlete
- Doctor and patient or nurse
- Cop and prisoner or criminal
- Personal trainer and client
- Kidnapper and victim
- Sailor
- Owner and pet
- Pirate and maiden
Dress up in various role play costumes to get yourself in position and mood!